11 days and counting

The countdown has begun in earnest. I have an outfit – actually I have a number of items which will make up the outfit once the bride-to-be casts her eye over them and decides which jacket and pair of shoes she deems most suitable for me to wear.

I am still resisting suggestions from Bridezilla to have Botox or eyebrow threading, preferring to stick with laugh lines and tweezers. It’s too late to lose a stone but I have had my highlights done.

Everything we needed to book or hire is booked or hired – and quite a lot of it is already paid for. Those who provide wedding services, it seems, work in a different way to the rest of us.

I work freelance and don’t get paid until I’ve done the job. So I’m the one who gets stuffed if the company I’m working for goes bust before I get my cheque. With weddings this works the other way round. That’s why we took out insurance.

It will pay out if the heavens open and the register office is closed due to flooding. Or the caterer gets stuck in gridlock on the Bristol ring road. Or the photographer loses her cameras before she’s downloaded the images. However, it won’t pay out if either the bride-to-be or the chosen one change their minds.

In America you can get insurance to cover every eventuality. A story in yesterday's Seattle Times notes:

Even a "change of heart" can be insured in a special option that Fireman's Fund Insurance began offering this month that costs about $25 on top of the policy. It's for those who pay for a wedding only to see the groom or bride back out, said insurance broker Rob Nuccio of RV Nuccio and Associates, who wrote the option.
"Oftentimes, there is an innocent person involved in that. There is the poor father who lays out 50 grand and he's just left dumbfounded," Nuccio said.

My husband will be pleased to know that, whatever happens, I don’t think the final total will be anywhere near that.

Empty nest

Of course the wedding is my daughter’s day, but it has started to sink in that it is also another turning point for me as a mother. Maybe that’s why in the midst of all the joy and excitement I feel a little sad.

I tell myself that I’ve done my job well now that my children pay their own council tax, make their own dental appointments, put out their own rubbish. But I still miss them. I wrote this after they had both left home.

The front door opens easily
without the log-jam of trainers.
The heart-beat thud of drum and bass has stilled.
Empty sockets of contact lens containers
no longer stare up at me each morning
And there is a lone bottle of shampoo
on the side of the bath.
Food in the fridge reaches its use-by date
and when I flip the car radio on
it plays Heart 106.2.

Note to self: enough sentimental tosh.

5 flowers to avoid at weddings

In the language of flowers candytuft is believed to signify indifference.

Other flowers one should avoid?
*dahlias = capriciousness
*hydrangeas = heartlessness
*oleander = caution
*larkspur (pink) = fickleness

It's probably as well that my daughter has chosen lillies and roses.

Why hens?

Tomorrow is the hen night. Why not the doe night?

A quick Google only came up with this possible explanation on The Phrase Finder's bulletin board.

'A typical flock of chickens consisted of many hens and one rooster, if the owners were interested in breeding chicks, or many hens and no rooster if the goal was egg production. So hens hung out together, pecking and gabbling and roosters were solitary.'

Any one have any better suggestions?

Reuse, recycle ...

Oxfam is appealing for more second-hand wedding dress donations because demand at its bridal outlets is booming.
The charity runs nine dedicated bridal stores in England, with an average wedding dress price of about £250.
It said more brides-to-be were seeking a cut-price option in order to give their big day a more "ethical slant".
The charity's need for more stock was highlighted by the month-long waiting list for appointments at Oxfam's bridal shop in Eastbourne, East Sussex.
Barbara Warmsley, the charity's bridal co-ordinator, said: "It's great that so many brides are coming to Oxfam for their dresses, but we are desperate for donations to meet this growing demand.
"If a donated dress sells for £250, this can provide 100 people with clean water, build two toilets, train one midwife and feed a family for a month."
Source: BBC news

Puts it all in perspective really ...

Doors to manual

Two weeks ago I posted 40 invitations to my daughter’s wedding ceremony and reception plus a further 40 invitations to the party in the evening. I had filled in the names, handwritten the addresses on the envelopes and tucked a specially printed map inside the specially printed and beribboned cards.

Knowing that letter writing is virtually extinct these days, I included my phone number and my email address for people to reply informally if they wished to.

So far I have had:
11 emails
6 phone calls
8 cards
1 letter
Of these, only 2 have been in response to the evening party invitation.

It’s not just a question of manners. It’s the catering. We need to have a fairly good idea of numbers so that we can order enough food and drink and let the caterers know how many staff to supply.

I’m thinking of saving on the catering and hiring bouncers to turn away anyone not on the ‘has replied’ list.

My husband says I am losing it.

Second Thoughts

As the bills start to roll in for assorted wedding paraphernalia - chair hire, coat stands, confetti - I add the following to my list of surveys I wish I’d never heard about:

Market research firm OnePoll has found that a quarter of those who are married wouldn’t wed their spouse again if they had a second chance. Of those, 14 per cent would rather have married an old flame and 33 per cent felt being single was more fun.

Apparently, one in seven of us has doubts while walking up the aisle. And although most of get married for love, one in three ties the knot because he or she wants to have children, buy a house or receive gifts.

Gifts weren’t part of the equation for me. My husband’s romantic gesture of arranging the register office ceremony in secret and pretending we were going out to lunch meant that there were no presents from friends and family. Indeed my only complaint then - and all these years later – is that I missed the one opportunity I might ever have to own a set of matching bathroom towels.