Love is like a butterfly

Yes, I got roses (2 in a mixed bouquet). And chocs (3 little hearts because I’m meant to be on a diet). A pot of that champagne Marmite (he knows I love Marmite). And a bottle of pink champagne (lovely bubbly). But best of all I got a cooked breakfast of mushrooms on toast (my favourite).

I’ve been trying to remember our first Valentine’s Day, but it has been lost in the mists of time. I still have some of the first presents he bought me – a pair of tiny butterfly earrings and a cream butterfly on a silver chain. And I still have some of the first love letters he wrote me. But I’m not sure I could lay my hands on the very first Valentine card and I can’t remember if we went anywhere special – or just stayed in.

I do remember the first time I cooked for him. It was one of those seventies dishes with cream and butter and pork and peppers – and it gave him an upset stomach. No wonder he now does most of the cooking.

Second Thoughts

If you're planning a wedding this year, now may be the perfect time to lay in a stock of champagne.



The supermarkets appear to be competing to see who can offer the best deals.




So never mind Valentine's day, stock up now while you have the chance. It might not be romantic, but listen to your head not your heart.

Valentine thoughts

Forget the commercialism. You don’t have to buy champagne and roses.

But we all need to be reminded at least once a year to make time and space for love and romance. To remember what you saw in each other in the first place. To count your blessings.



This poem - called The Wife's Tale - is a timely reminder

You crept between the cracks in a marriage and made yourself at home.
I was tired, worn down
by years of homework and school holidays.
I had heard his stories many times, no longer listened.
But you said, ‘You have done so many fascinating things.
I can imagine that you are very good at storytelling,
especially at bedtime.’

I saw a man with a thickening waistline, high blood pressure and athlete’s foot.
You saw a dreamer, a poet, a lover,
You saw the man he always thought he would be.
I dashed his dreams with reason’s cold water,
I cut him down to size.
But you said, ‘I have no doubt that you can do anything you want.
You are so clever and I am so proud of you.’

I sat in restaurants in silence because words were traps for the unwary.
But you said, ‘I'm never too busy to spend time talking to you.
You are such an interesting man.’
I turned away in bed, picked up a book, switched off a light.
But you wrote, ‘I cannot wait to see you it is such, such torture.
We need to make love, long passionate love,
with no clocks in the room, please, and no mobile phones.’

I black-binned his clothes, changed the locks, cried with friends.
You said, ‘I thought that no-one had to be aware of my presence for a while.
‘I don’t want to be the scarlet woman.
‘You have to sort things out without me in the equation.’
He did his sums in the guest house bedroom and came home.
You said, ‘Ever felt that somehow you lose all the things you care about?’
Almost, I thought, as he unpacked his bags.

Lucky, lucky, lucky

It was brought home to me yesterday how lucky my husband and I were to have been so closely involved with the daughter’s wedding.

Chatting on the phone to one of my Christmas cards friends – the ones you’ve known for more years than you both care to remember but now only see once in a blue moon – I realised two things:

a) we got off very lightly in terms of the overall cost (my friend said that the daughter had spent more than £2,000 on the dress alone and that the husband had earmarked £30,000 for the event)

b) it was lovely having a chance to do the girly things that I never did for my own wedding – helping to choosing all the little details from the style for the invitations to the colour of the canna lilies and the bride’s dress.

My friend says the bride and groom – who are in their thirties – are organising everything themselves. That’s how it is these days.

After our daughter’s wedding she sent us a lovely card thanking us for making the day so special. Now I feel I should have sent her one – to thank her for giving me the chance to be so much a part of it.

Forward Planning

The copy for the meeja students' magazine Hitched is in and it's a pretty mixed batch. Some good ideas just haven't been explored properly.

One student wrote about the trend for vintage (or vintage in style) wedding dresses. She spoke to a vintage clothes collector and a make-up artist who specialises in retro looks, but she didn't find anyone to talk to about the evolution of wedding dresses themselves (although she did rewrite some of the info she found on various websites).

I felt sure there were collections in various museums that she could have mentioned, and curators who would have been happy to share their expertise. Indeed, when I Googled around a bit, I found several possibilities from Leeds to Dawlish .

I also found a treat for the future - a wedding dress exhibition to be held at the V&A in May. I doubt any of my students will be there.

Backsliding already

So how am I doing with my NY resolutions? Clearly I’m already failing to post any more regularly, probably because cuddling the young man on the left is more fun than tapping away on a keyboard.

But I am doing better on the ‘must finish more books’ front.
So far I have read:
The quite clever and somewhat touching Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers
The much better Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (Thinks: Is this kind of title all down to the success of Short History of Tractors ….?)
The very funny (and useful) Pardon My French – Unleash your Inner Gaul
The Bard meets the Da Vinci Code in The Shakespeare Secret
And I’m halfway through One Good Turn by Kate Atkinson
And although I’m nowhere up to dovegreyreader standards, I am working full time and it’s not the end of the month yet.

I don’t wish to say anything about the diet, except I would kill for a glass of wine.

As for my new batch of meeja students, I haven’t yelled at them yet. The module I take them for is one in which they have to come up with a concept for a 32-page A4 magazine, write all the copy for it, arrange all the pictures, design it and get it printed. In 12 days. It’s a tough task which requires sticking to deadlines – a concept young people often seem to have trouble understanding.

However, by some freaky coincidence this group has chosen a subject dear to my heart. They have decided to produce a magazine all about weddings.

Sort of resolute

This year I will:

AIM to post more regularly on this blog – although I am still trying to readjust to the change of persona from Mother of the Bride (who can perform wonders by arranging weddings in just three months) to the granny who is completely out of date with modern methods of childrearing (no, Mum, you only give one breast at a feed so that they completely empty it …) Amazing that either of my two survived infancy really.

FINISH more books (especially the ones set by the book club, even if they are not and will never be to my taste because it’s meant to be a mind-expanding experience, not just an excuse for a glass or two of wine and a gossip). Incidentally, I expect everyone else who belongs to a book club has already read it but, if you haven’t, Tim Dowling’s column in the Guardian on October 20,2007 is spot on.
It starts: 1) This novel is filled with intriguing characters. Which character do you most identify with and why? Can you remember his or her name? Perhaps you should just let someone else go first.
I particularly liked: 11) The white wine has run out. Is your host going to get another bottle or is she going to keep going on and on about the symbolism of the frigging wind chimes? There’s plenty of red left. Should you switch to red?
Read the whole thing at www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,2194153,00.html

LOSE 2 stones in weight (well, maybe half a stone)

BE NICER. Especially to my new set of meeja studies (journalism pathway) students even if, like the batch I had last semester, they cannot spell, punctuate, or recognise when a sentence is nothing but gobbledygook - let alone write a feature.