5 flowers to avoid at weddings

In the language of flowers candytuft is believed to signify indifference.

Other flowers one should avoid?
*dahlias = capriciousness
*hydrangeas = heartlessness
*oleander = caution
*larkspur (pink) = fickleness

It's probably as well that my daughter has chosen lillies and roses.

Why hens?

Tomorrow is the hen night. Why not the doe night?

A quick Google only came up with this possible explanation on The Phrase Finder's bulletin board.

'A typical flock of chickens consisted of many hens and one rooster, if the owners were interested in breeding chicks, or many hens and no rooster if the goal was egg production. So hens hung out together, pecking and gabbling and roosters were solitary.'

Any one have any better suggestions?

Reuse, recycle ...

Oxfam is appealing for more second-hand wedding dress donations because demand at its bridal outlets is booming.
The charity runs nine dedicated bridal stores in England, with an average wedding dress price of about £250.
It said more brides-to-be were seeking a cut-price option in order to give their big day a more "ethical slant".
The charity's need for more stock was highlighted by the month-long waiting list for appointments at Oxfam's bridal shop in Eastbourne, East Sussex.
Barbara Warmsley, the charity's bridal co-ordinator, said: "It's great that so many brides are coming to Oxfam for their dresses, but we are desperate for donations to meet this growing demand.
"If a donated dress sells for £250, this can provide 100 people with clean water, build two toilets, train one midwife and feed a family for a month."
Source: BBC news

Puts it all in perspective really ...

Doors to manual

Two weeks ago I posted 40 invitations to my daughter’s wedding ceremony and reception plus a further 40 invitations to the party in the evening. I had filled in the names, handwritten the addresses on the envelopes and tucked a specially printed map inside the specially printed and beribboned cards.

Knowing that letter writing is virtually extinct these days, I included my phone number and my email address for people to reply informally if they wished to.

So far I have had:
11 emails
6 phone calls
8 cards
1 letter
Of these, only 2 have been in response to the evening party invitation.

It’s not just a question of manners. It’s the catering. We need to have a fairly good idea of numbers so that we can order enough food and drink and let the caterers know how many staff to supply.

I’m thinking of saving on the catering and hiring bouncers to turn away anyone not on the ‘has replied’ list.

My husband says I am losing it.

Second Thoughts

As the bills start to roll in for assorted wedding paraphernalia - chair hire, coat stands, confetti - I add the following to my list of surveys I wish I’d never heard about:

Market research firm OnePoll has found that a quarter of those who are married wouldn’t wed their spouse again if they had a second chance. Of those, 14 per cent would rather have married an old flame and 33 per cent felt being single was more fun.

Apparently, one in seven of us has doubts while walking up the aisle. And although most of get married for love, one in three ties the knot because he or she wants to have children, buy a house or receive gifts.

Gifts weren’t part of the equation for me. My husband’s romantic gesture of arranging the register office ceremony in secret and pretending we were going out to lunch meant that there were no presents from friends and family. Indeed my only complaint then - and all these years later – is that I missed the one opportunity I might ever have to own a set of matching bathroom towels.

Love shouts and whispers

When I married my husband in Burnt Oak Register Office we seemed to be in and out in a matter of minutes. It may have been because we were the last couple before lunch and the Registrar was starving. More likely, it was the absence of hymns and prayers that sped up proceedings.

The Register office my daughter is to be married in is a far cry from the Portacabin where I got hitched. It’s a Grade II listed building that cost £2 million to restore. The press release put out by the local council when it opened for business last year said:

The Old Council House was designed and constructed under the supervision of Robert Smirke between 1823 and 1827. The neo classical building features a spectacular marble tiled staircase, a beautiful internal courtyard and a number of ornate rooms in the Greek revival style.
Much of the original furniture is still in place alongside a number of oil paintings dating back to the 18th century. Many of paintings were specially commissioned for the building, depicting scenes from Bristol's historic past.
The building is located on one of the most important historical sites in the city and archaeological work during the restoration uncovered medieval walls below the existing building and unearthed a medieval gold ring.

How appropriate is that for a wedding venue?

Anyway, it seems that couples are now encouraged to pad out the civil proceedings with poems, songs or readings, especially if they are getting married somewhere as splendid as the Lantern Room and inviting busloads of guests. I think the Registrars want everyone to feel they are getting value for money, which is a refreshing change from many of the other service providers I’ve been in touch with in my role as MOTB.

The daughter isn’t sure. We’ve both looked at various websites and the same inevitable suggestions come up time and again. Sidney’s The Bargain, Shakespeare’s sonnet 116, Donne’s Good Morrow, Barrett Browning’s How Do I Love Thee. I remembered poems that the daughter loved when she was younger and suggested Love Shouts and Whispers by Vernon Scanell - although I also pointed out that since the daughter and fiancé met at the school where they both teach, The Young and Hopeful Lover might be more apt.

It begins:
I knew that I would have to wait
Years and years before
I carried, as my bride, Miss Hyde
Through my own front door ….

And goes on:
But now I’m told she is engaged –
And this you’d never guess –
To Mr Tench who teaches French!
I’m shocked I must confess

Bizarrely, the daughter has now decided she doesn’t want anything that rhymes. Suggestions gratefully received.

Who's on the A-List?

My husband says there should be a rule about weddings: never invite anyone you haven’t met at least three times.

It’s seems as good a rule as any – although since we (as the bride’s parents) are formally sending out the invitations to our daughter’s wedding that would rule out most of the bridegroom’s family including his parents.

The invitation list has been causing me a great deal of angst. Most of the time I feel like a one-woman peace-keeping force.
The husband feels that the wedding is a joyous occasion and he would like the friends who have watched our daughter grow up to share it with us. (Besides, he believes that he who pays the piper should be allowed to call at least part of the tune.)

My daughter and her fiancé feel that it’s their wedding, not ours, so their friends and colleagues should take precedence. (I can see they have a point.)

The daughter doesn’t want aunties, uncles and cousins. The fiancé does. My husband says his sisters will be upset if they are not invited. I point out that we were not invited to his niece’s wedding.

The trade-offs begin. One family friend equals how many of the groom’s mates? Is a cousin worth two aunties?
The List changes every day. Wozzers has broken up with his girlfriend so he won’t be a plus one. Tim and Susan are back together. And so it goes on.

There are, in fact, three lists. One for the ceremony and reception. One for the reception. And one for the party in the evening, to which everyone who has been to the ceremony and/or reception will also be invited.
The invitation cards have now been ordered. I just pray there will be enough to go round.