3 tips on organising a wedding

1. Don’t expect official photographers to think.
You may have specified that you do not want formal firing squad family group pix – but you still have to explain what you DO want. It might seem obvious that you would like informal pictures of key family members such as the groom’s father with his wife or the bride’s brothers who are acting as ushers, rather than six photographs of empty tables just to show how nicely they had been laid. But take nothing for granted.
Oh, and should the reception be held in a school where the bride and groom teach there is really no need for the photographer to go to the trouble of snapping the school badge and motto – especially if it is in Latin and they don’t have a clue what it means.

2. Having a table seating plan is no guarantee of harmony.
It helps if you are acquainted with who you are putting next to whom. If not, do not assume that two people who are married to each other and live at the same address are still a couple – or, indeed, on speaking terms.

3. Sale and return is always sale and no return.
If drink is available, it will be drunk. Why would anyone ever think otherwise?

Barking mad

As my husband likes to put it, we haven’t lost a daughter – we’ve gained a dog-in-law.

The dog in question is the bridegroom’s Springer spaniel and we are dog sitting while they are on honeymoon. We are cat people and I don’t think this is a fair test.

The people at www.springerrescue.org.uk say that basically, ‘Springers are strong willed and active, always on the go. They love family life and are extremely affectionate, but need to be controlled.’

In other words, they take no notice of anything you say unless it suits them so to do. And they are probably the source of the expression ‘completely barking mad.’